Sunday, November 18th, 2007
Issue: 49   Editor: Air


Bootleggers Encyclopedia #2 DefinitelyNotE
Hello Bootleggers! It has been 2 weeks since my last article. I apologize, I lost track of time and could not fit it in my tight schedule to make an article. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand (nuthin’ but a G thang, baby!). Last time we looked at the first inevitable stereotypes Bootleggers (Get the pun? Me neither.) has to offer. Now, as there are many more categories not yet defined and/or explored, today we’ll take a look inside the life of a Grammar Nazi, we’ll look at the HDO, and try (and probably fail) to understand the complete idiot. God help us.


Grammar Nazi.
The grammar Nazi (Excolo grammatica domesticus), is a distinguished figure inside the Bootleggers population. The grammar Nazi is sometimes referred to as grammar police, grammar enforcer, anything with grammar really. They call themselves anything but Nazi, as they say it is a derogatory term, and hardly a correct depiction of the person in question. Its characteristics are an unhealthy knowledge of the English language, a rather large e-penis, a pale skin, an insatiable appetite for correcting people, and a lot of frustration.

“There is one simple rule in using English to the get the best from the language, make it so your audience can understand it. And if that means breaking the rules to make it easier to understand, go ahead and break them. Imagine an inner city rappa’ talking to Shakespeare, they would not be able to understand each other, so Shakes needs to unnerstan’ dat he need to feel the street to be heard in the hood.” – TheDeadPinto. Wise words by a wise man.

Help Desk Operator.
The Help Desk Operator ( Succurro traba facio) is, despite the total number of HDOs, a common sight in the Bootleggers forums. They distinguish themselves from other groups of user, by the simple fact that they actually have powers to effectively stop users from posting in the forums. Perhaps they are the Nazis, as it’s a well-known tactic used by the German fascist party, making sure their opponents have no chance to reply. However, HDOs are commonly known as friendly, helpful people, with a vast knowledge of the rules, and a lot of patience, only enforcing the rules in the Game Forum.

“Hi.” – Nyxxiekins.
Wise words.. Wise words.

Complete Idiot.
Finally, the complete idiot (universa stolidus anus) is perhaps the biggest group of forum users on Bootleggers. They are defined by the fact that they utter complete gibberish, and enjoy every second of it. Do not however, make the mistake of comparing them to forum whores, because as much as they strive to be one, they will never be one. One might introduce him or her self as a forum, but don’t take this seriously. They’re just too darn stupid.

“lulz!11120oneoneoneone!11” – Random forum user. Wise words.

The (almost) ultimate battle.
Encounters in the wild between these species are not uncommon to the forums, however a three way battle is. The only way this may happen, is when a complete idiot makes a random topic, in an attempt becoming a forum whore. A HDO steps in, moves the topic (if in the wrong forum), and leaves. However, this might be stopped if a grammar Nazi uncovers a minor mistake made by the HDO in question, enveloping in a true ‘Lulzapalooza’. Note: It’s lulz, not LOL. The HDO may attempt to mute the grammar Nazi, however this is a temporary solution, as the grammar Nazi will not rest until its prey admits defeat, or gets ‘pwned’, which can only be done by following Pro tips. Or of course, by catching them on a mistake and label them hypocrite, then walk off. But that’s not nearly as fun. The complete idiot will have trouble keeping up in the topic, and will most likely go to play on his Wii.

There you have it, the results of a three way battle sure to produce lulz for all. I hope you enjoyed it, I know I have. Until next time!