Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
Issue: 51   Editor: Nyxxiekins


Bootleggers Encyclopedia #3 TheSexiestManAlive
Wow.. It seems like it was yesterday *cue sentimental music* that I came up with this idea (Although Sean might claim he thought of it), and now it ends like this.. Oh well. It’s fate I guess. Anyhow, back to the article. Today we’ll look at the scammer, and I shall attempt scamming one of them. Also, I will describe the biggest cliché and easily the biggest group on BL, the noob. And of course the inevitable battle. Enjoy.

The scammer (deceptus familiaris) is a player distinguished by illiteracy, elaborate scams (hence the term scammer) and mostly a Food Stamps Applicant. There have been many good scammers on Bootleggers, however one must not forget it are the gullible morons who give the scammer so much power. We’ve all seen them: topics about how X has scammed Y, and must be banned blah blah blah. Too bad it’s not a violation of the Terms Of Service. Scamming happened 70 years ago as well. To help those insecure souls, I have devised a list with do’s and don’ts.

Do:
1. Try to reason with the scammer. He’ll become insecure.
2. Ask why the scammer picked you. Again, insecurity will strike.
3. Tell him to $%!@# off. This will, well, it will stop him from BM-ing you. You might get threatened, but that’s lulzy.
4. Try to scam the scammer. Lulzy and surprisingly effective.
5. Get him to threaten you. This will mostly consist of ‘I’ll cum to ur house n kill u m8!!’, or ‘I haf 4 ldon dupes!!’. This of course, is classified as ullshit-bay.

Don’t:
1. Give him money. This will make his scam work.
2. Stop replying. He’ll flood your inbox.
3. Kill him. Scammers are funny.
4. And some more.
5. And yadda yadda yadda.

Now, I’ve never been scammed, because I’m just too clever. Here’s what happened when a scammer tried to scam me.

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/9716/lulzscamsf4.jpg

Dare I say pwnage? No. I’m scared.

The noob (noobus domesticus) is well, not just a player. The noob, is a way of life. If you’re a noob at one point in your life, it’s because you was born a noob, you lived as a noob, and you most certainly will die as a noob. Attention: They are not the same as newbs. Whereas newbs are just new to the game, noobs may have been lurking on the forums for years. And no, I’m not a noob. I think. Noobs are distinguished by their lack of common sense, their illiteracy (roughly 99% of the noob population says ‘u’ instead of ‘you’, or ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’)their constant rambling about completely inane matters, and their frequent use of the ‘’ emoticon. Now, if you happen to encounter a noob, have fun with it. Over classing and ridiculing one is perhaps the most fun one can have on this game, apart from the actual playing of the game (err..). Now, because it is such a big group, I have once again devised 5 points to determine if you are in fact, a noob.

1. You laugh at the worst of jokes, and use ‘ur mum’ a lot.
2. You wonder why everyone else wastes his time playing the game, when it is more fun laughing about unfunny topics.
3. You swear a lot for no reason.
4. You type like Stevie Wonder.
5. You say ‘LOL!!’.

The battle
Obviously this is a well matched battle, both sides filled to the brim with idiocy. The scammer however, has the upper hand if he can manage to scam the noob into submission. Noobs on the other hand, have no material possessions on the game as they’re too lazy and/or inadequate to actually get a hold of money or points. Unless they steal mommy’s credit card, of course. The idiocy and illiteracy will most likely be too much to handle, and the illiterate retorts won’t stop until a Grammar Nazi comes in and verbally bashes the heck out of them both (like I have, praise me puppets).

Anyway, this was E’s Bootleggers Encyclopedia. Stay tuned for another episode Perhaps one day I will continue this. WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!

Note: E is out of ideas to write about.

This has been the sexiest man alive, saying arriverderci to you all!.... Or something.