- Stop talking about where you went to college.
- Always carry cash.
- Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
- It’s OK to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
- Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
- You will regret your tattoo.
- Never date an ex of your friend.
- If riding the bus doesn’t encourage you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
- Time is too short to do your own laundry.
- When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
- When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
- People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
- When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
- You probably use your cell phone too often and at the wrong moments.
- Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the woman judging you. And it tells these woman you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
- Be a regular at more than one bar.
- Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
- A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.
- No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
- Ask for a salad instead of fries.
- Don’t split the cheque.
- Pretty woman who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
- The cliché is that having money is about not wasting time. But in reality, money is about facilitating spontaneity.
- Be spontaneous.
- Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.
- Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
- Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
- One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
- #stopwiththehashtags
- Measure yourself only against your previous self.
- Take more pictures with a camera.
- Place-dropping is worse than name-dropping.
- Your clothes do not match. They go together.
- Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
- Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.
- If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.
- Avoid that ‘last’ whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.
- If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
- Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
- If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
- You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
- Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
- Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
- Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
- Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”
- Start a wine collection for your kids when they are born. Add a few cases every year without telling them. It’ll make a phenomenal gift in 20 years.
- Don’t gamble if losing $100 is going to piss you off.
