Last updated:   Editor: Cubeinator

Afty's Occasional Guide To Afty

It’s the return of the… Ah, wait, no way. You’re kidding. He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he? Damn right! ‘Afty’s Occasional Guide to’ is back! For those who didn’t play, or read The Buzz, early last round then you may have missed a spectacularly sarcastic weekly column where I give players a guide to certain elements of the game. This week I’ll be putting together some top tips on how to play a new round. This guide is probably useless for both new and old players. Did I mean useful? NOPE!

New rounds are tricky beasts to handle. Not only does a new round help to bring in a fresh batch of players looking to learn the game from scratch but it also appeals to older players to return and have another bash at playing. I’m not sure I recommend ‘bashing’ well playing Bootleggers but whatever floats your boat. New rounds often bring new players and new game features and changes. The combination of new rounds and new players can often wreak more havoc and chaos than a pro-Russia Ukrainian with no regard whatsoever for his testicles.

New changes and features often send the easily confused into turmoil, spouting tons of forum posts starting with the phrase “Is it just me?” Unfortunately the answer to that question is no. It seems that those sneaky administrators are brilliant at hiding information in plain sight. Why can’t they simply document their recent changes somewhere for people to easily read and understand? It’s almost as if they want players to keep asking about the new features so that it garners more free promotion than the latest iPhone 5STD.

I mean, if the changes were displayed somewhere in some kind of log or updates page whereby the changes were all displayed in some kind of order based on how recently they were added, or possibly in some kind of FAQ page filled up with questions that are asked more often than the pope has to apologise for historical abuse claims. Then again, you know what would really work? Some kind of support system or help system or support desk or… a help desk! That way the easily confused can simply create a support ticket and have their answer sent directly to them – rather than clogging up a Game Forum with threads containing information that is already easily accessibly just by the player using their eyes to read. Alternatively if the player cannot help themselves but to immediately go to the Game Forum to find a solution to a problem then maybe some sticky or important topics would help.

If only the admins would open their eyes and realise that all of these problems would be solved if they implemented one of the above mentioned policies on changes and features! Until then we’ll have to live with the only current method of getting answer to a question which is to create a new thread in the Game Forum and wait for someone to tell you that there is another thread on the same topic about three places down from the one you just created. Maybe an even better solution would be some kind of search feature in the Game Forum… I’m just dreaming now though. We cannot have everything.

Something else for returning and new players to remember is that all Bootleggers players are inherently trustworthy and there is no way anyone would lie or cheat or screw you over in the new type of Organised Crime. If I heard tell of something like that happening that I would find it very, very hard to believe. Like News International, it must just be one rogue player bringing down the reputation of the entire community. Those scamps! It’s all harmless fun and games.

A final pitfall for returning players is forgetting how eternally frustrating it can be to gamble your cash away and be left feeling like you wished you had never started playing again. You show up all wide eyed and rosy cheeked. Remembering all of the old times, the players, the crews, struggling your way up with the first few ranks… all of those old memories are brought back. You work, well… click, and click away, finishing those early annoying missions. You keep chipping away at those crimes, failing and failing at stealing cars. Then, when you finally get yourself to a decent position you suddenly think “unlimited keno? I cannot lose!” You fool! You just lost all of your cash and all of the time you spent building up that cash. You could’ve bought points. Don’t gamble. Just don’t gamble. Well, unless you’re feeling lucky – in which case, go for it!

So if you’re like me and you’re returning for the new round, or you’re a shiny faced David Cameron hoping to make an impression on an endlessly cynical population, let’s have a merry new round of Bootleggers!

I’ll end as always with a disclaimer to say that if you have taken my article seriously then the autism spectrum beckons you!