Last updated:   Editor: Cubeinator

Joke's Weekly Jokes Joke

How to make the World Cup more exciting:

  • Refs are on stilts
  • The ball screams when kicked
  • Kissing is legal
  • 1 player gets to use a car
  • Snakes

Whenever I see somebody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, I'll always go up to them and whisper, "Don't worry, the sun is going to come back tomorrow."

Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell them that you just bought an Android iPad.

Sometimes when I say "I'm Ok," what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say, "You're not Ok" and then hand me $10,000,000

Frankly, auto correct, I'm getting really ducking tired of your shirt.

My doctor told me, "Do NOT mix this medicine with alcohol, or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm."

If your problem can be solved by naps, cake, drugs, alcohol, or killing someone, then you don't really have a problem.

It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something.