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If I see someone spell it as “pedofile” I want to correct them, but then I’m like, is this really an area where I want to look knowledgeable?
I didn't go to the gym yesterday. But the name of the cashier at McDonald's was Jim, so, same thing.
No guy named Larry was ever a baby. They actually walk out of their mothers womb with receding hairlines in sandals with socks.
Apples I don't have to peel to eat, oranges I do. BOOM, COMPARED
Saturday night.
Expectation: parties, friends, making tons of memories.
Reality: Food, Bootleggers and Netflix.
I'd like to call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me, I've tried
Inky wrote:
Q. What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A. *Gagging noises*
Maniuplate wrote:
A Chinese couple own a restaurant together. One night they are having sex and the husband says, "I want to 69" To which the wife replies, "why you want beef and broccori now?"
ThatBitch wrote:
What did the 0 say the the 8??
Where you get your belt.
I got a Chinese the other day and a birds head kept poking out the bag.
I took it back and they said yea you order peeking duck
Mason wrote:
You hear about the scarecrow who got a promotion?
He was outstanding in his field!
My mum laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a car out of spaghetti.
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Tyn wrote:
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Well, I say song, but it's more of a wrap...
I got a job crushing coca-cola cans...
It's soda pressing
Caboose wrote:
Do you know who likes to get fisted?
