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[FREELANCE] One Bootlegger's Fancy Introduction Satan

I want to indulge you in on a little secret...

God does exist and he is my brother. We sealed a divine contract that establishes the universe. You see, God and I live in eternity, which to me is rather boring. Despite a boring eternity, my brother always had powers he never wanted to use! Can you believe that? Every time I ask him, he says, “My powers, if left unchecked, creates an eternity of unintended Bootleggers, and I’d be responsible for it.”

You see, I never understood my brother’s guilty self-deprecation! But I convinced my brother to act! I said, “I will be your checks and balances, God. Make man into your own image and I will drive humans to know you.” (Instead, I drove them to become Bootleggers.)

We agreed that I enlighten humanity of concepts of good and evil. Your creator, my own brother, didn’t even want to make you, Bootleggers! I tricked him into signing the divine seal so that I can give you the pleasures of the world as I see fit, because God never goes back on his word. My brother truly is a man of his word. Trust me.

Nobody punishes wrong doers because you die anyway and create new accounts. There are no souls. You see, my role is to play checks and balances for when you're alive. My naive yet powerful brother believed that if he were to control his own creation, he may not always be right? And how would he know? He could very well be Hitler for that matter! So I convinced him that he needed me to be "the other" force so one side doesn't rule!

As soon as we sealed the contract, he wasn’t happy with what I accomplished. The nerve! But hey, he trusted me and I finally have a power to call my own…the power to manipulate.

I guess I should tell you God's word as per my own contractual obligation, even though I am not required!

Because God feels it is immoral to interfere in his own creation, he prays that you not listen to me. He promotes great responsibility, the power of restraint and the delaying of gratification if necessary to attaining long term success. He wants man to be self-assured, confident and safe.

I, on the other hand, think that is cruel because it misunderstands the nature of man that he created! I want human rebellion to fulfil my selfish goals. I want to give you KNOWLEDGE, the forbidden fruits that you can indulge in. I want you to have fun, because this world belongs to me. Don't hold back....give in to your desires!

Today's common desire? Joining Bootleggers! Welcome, everyone.