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SATIRE: Recently laid off mob doctors struggling to move on. Riot

Dr. Louis Gonzalez, or "Stitch" as he is passionately known as, says he misses the good old days of hanging out in the Crew House waiting for mobster to get shot up and then charging them thousands of dollars to get sewn back up again.

Stitch spent most of his time working for The Night's Watch before being let go.

“The best part was, I made them pay upfront. If they got called out to go and bloody limp somewhere, they had to pay me again to start back up again. Most of them left their beds to go and gamble. They literally left their medical attention so they could get their fix on gambling. I probably should have said something, but hey, I ain’t that kind of a doctor.”

As they say, so dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can stay. Stitch soon found his money hole had run dry. He was laid off after the Mobsters Union agreed upon a universal healthcare plan that involved free visits to the doctors, no questions asked.

“It’s this damn socialism, that’s what it is. I knew once these Scandinavian mobsters started showing up that it was only a matter of time. Our writing was on the wall! It’s weird because they got rid of their casino tax and somehow still added a universal health care plan. It doesn’t even make sense to me.” Stitch added.

When asked about the future plans of him and his fellow laid off doctor buddies, Stitch informed us they were moving really far away where they would not have to see any mobsters ever again. He stated “We are off to the sunshine state. Florida! Home of Spring Break! In just a days this place will be crawling with beautiful college co-eds. By the time the readers read this, which will be after spring break, we will have forgotten all about those double crossing mobsters.”

Best of luck Stitch, from all of user here at the Buzz.