Satire: Mobster struggles to adapt after fireworks fun goes terribly wrong
It was a beautiful 4th of July morning when Hitman247 got his first ever pack of fireworks. He was filled with excitement as he pulled the exciting explosive out of the package and examined it. Hitman247 had very little experience with fireworks so he was eager to see how they worked. He finally got one out and lit it with the hot end of his cigarette. The wick burned as it got shorter and shorter. It was not until the wick had disappeared into the small firework that Hitman247 had realized he made a terrible decision to keep holding on to the projectile.
In a matter of seconds, Hitman247 was missing his thumb and neighboring two fingers after the firework discharged. Hitman247 said of the issue himself "It was actually pretty beautiful, all things considered. My body kinda went into shock and I missed the grand finale, which kinda bummed me out cause I know it was good. That's where I lost my middle finger after all."
Hitman247 has since had a tough road back into doing mobster things. "I am always stuck leading OC's. I can not operate the stick shift to drive, I can not operate the chopper to shoot and I have proven myself an absolute liability when it comes to explosives, so my options are really limited. And that's rough."
Perhaps the biggest challenge Hitman247 has been facing has been whacking people.
"Who would have thought losing half of your dominant hand would prevent you from whacking as much as you used to? I remember my first whack right out of the hospital. I kept dropping the gun, I was bleeding everywhere... but my target was very supportive. He could have just grabbed the gun and shot himself to get it over with, but he realized it was important for me to do it. He was very patient as I steadied the pistol right between his eyes." He recalled his earlier murder.
"I know we fight a lot and have our differences, but the support I have received from the community has been very comforting and empowering."